When Idiots Bet on Christmas
by Glasserie
Summary: "Sirius shot up from his seat and slammed his palm down. 'I swear to Merlin, if you two shove your tongues down each other's throats one more time in the past hour, I will personally transfigure you two into dog food.'" L/J. Currently a Two-Shot.
1. Quit it already!

_I'll probably be late with this, but to celebrate Christmas, I present you with a quick dose of Jily sexual tension. ;)_

 **DISCLAIMER: Neither the characters nor the world that is Harry Potter belongs to me, sadly.**

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 **The Idiots that Bet on Christmas**

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Christmas.

It's that time of the year and snowflakes are enveloping the Hogwarts grounds as well as the hair atop several heads of the student body that are mad enough to stay for the holidays, mistletoes are around every corner and door frame patiently waiting for an unsuspecting couple to pass through, heavily decorated pine trees are towering over the tables in the Great Hall, gifts are exchanged through packages of various sizes and laughter, and Sirius Black is _not_ happy.

Glaring over his untouched chocolate truffle cake, Sirius most definitely decided that he is undoubtedly _not_ happy.

Not even for the tiniest bit.

Because over his breakfast (well, first of all, who the _fuck_ thought it even a remotely sane idea that _chocolate fucking truffle cake_ is a good way to feed one's appetite first thing in the morning?) there is his best mate, in all his idiotic and lovesick glory, tangled up in a "fight" with his bloody girlfriend, Lily Evans.

Because unfortunately for him, those two are among those mad people who wanted to stay in Hogwarts to spend "their ickle last Christmas together" (he doesn't mean to be such an arse about it, but he couldn't really care less at the moment), and being the loyal and inseparable mate that he is, Sirius had begrudgingly agreed to stay with them, as well as Remus and several of Lily's friends (even though they agreed in a completely different manner). And being famously intoxicated with each other as they are, James and Lily had spent every waking moment since their break from Head duties and schoolwork even more wrapped up in each other's presence as ever and seemingly ignoring his attempts to make them separate their endless quality time between him and the rest of their friends.

 _Really,_ he thought as James popped a stolen strawberry from Lily's plate into his grinning mouth and Lily shoved him playfully while sipping at her water, _why is he watching them spending their precious freedom fawning over each other when they can all be outside shoving snowballs into each other's faces? Or pranking their teachers since they really can't get into any trouble over the holidays? Or drinking firewisking in their common room and playing truth or dare? Or something -_ anything - _else?_

"Give me back my sodding breakfast, Potter," Lily amusedly warned James as he snatched her plate and held it as high up as his palm will go without elbowing into Remus.

"What, this?", Sirius huffed out an annoyed breath as his mate very carefully tossed the plate an inch into the air before letting it calmly drop down into his palm again. _Fucking Merlin._ "I thought you're already finished."

At the moment where James's glasses slid down his nose and his shoulders relaxed so that he can properly adjust them, Lily swiftly leaned in and made a grab for her unfinished breakfast, only for her boyfriend to kick his well-trained reflexes into high gear and swing his arm into a flat circle before shoving the remaining of her chocolate cake into his mouth. "Walp, woo bag, Ewanz," he teased her thickly through the multitude of sweetness and dough in his mouth.

Marlene doubled over in laughter and Alice and Dorcas shared an eye roll while Remus slumped against the wall torn between relief, shock, and laughter.

Sirius just glared, knowing what was going to happen.

Lily quickly closed her mouth that had momentarily dropped open at the sudden move and pushed hard at James's chest. "What the bloody buggering bleeding _fucking_ Merlin's pants, Potter," she cursed at him somewhat angrily, that is, but the dancing twinkle in her eyes says otherwise.

James swallowed down his mouthful and smirked. "Woah there, that's a lot of offensive adjectives thrown at our wonderful Merlin, love, whatever did he do to you?" He casually set her plate down as if it hadn't been in the air just seconds and in danger of splattering onto Remus's lap.

Lily's lips twitched violently in her determination to hold back her smile at her incredible dolt of a boyfriend. "Don't even start with me. You better have a good reason to shove my sodding breakfast down your throat, or you bet your sorry arse that I'm breaking up with you."

Marlene snorted into another fit of giggles at the absurdity at even the thought of the idea.

"Oh come on, love, you _know_ why."

"Nope, can't say I do, you prat, I'm giving you two seconds."

"Evaaaannns," James stuck his bottom lip out in a pout, and widened his golden honey hazel brown eyes comically at her over the top of his spectacles. Sirius thought he's gonna hurl, if he even has anything in his stomach _to_ hurl.

Lily just raised an eyebrow at James's adorable expression (at least, Sirius _thought_ it was adorable, in a bird's mind at least, if the numerous times that that look got James off scot-free with nothing more than a frown in the past between his mother and the rest of the female population were any indication, but...wow, Sirius really needs to give this to Lily, she is clearly fending it off really well. A quick diversion of his eyes and he saw even Marlene had stopped her giggling and was blushing furiously). "Don't 'Evans' me, time's ticking."

Remus chuckled, but more at the reaction of Lily's friends than the impressive cheek Lily pulled through.

As his hands are so wont to do, they ruffled through James's hair. A lopsided smirk once again played on his mouth as he leaned toward the eye-twinkling lip-twitching redhead. "Aw, don't be mad, Lils, I'll get you something from Hogsmeade…", he murmured softly, but just loud enough for the rest of them to hear. "But if you _insist,_ " - now James's nose is brushing suggestively against Lily's - "you'll have to come and get it out of me."

"Is this what you were trying to do - I mean, get?" Lily's voice shook with laughter, finally cracking through her feigned furor. "A sodding goddamn kiss? God -" Lily squirmed away from him, ignoring his whimper at the sudden absence of her body - "You're so helplessly _destitute_."

James caught her hand as she scooted toward Marlene and pulled her back toward him. Lily's gasp of surprise is muffled against his sweater as she flew into him. His eyes were dark and hooded as he bent down and whispered something into her ear that caused a pretty tinge of pink to creep up her neck and into her cheeks. Her eyes flashed with something similar to the wild and uncontrollable mischief that Sirius is all-too-familiar with, since it's the same flash in James's eyes when he discussed a fantastic and original prank with him and Remus and Peter, and they locked coyly on the tiny smear of chocolate on the corner of James's mouth. She pulled back from his chest and her hands reached up to scrunch the collar of his shirt underneath and she pulled his head down -

Sirius shot up from his seat and slammed his palm down onto the wooden table, rattling his plate and startling the pair apart, momentarily burst out from their bubble of nauseating love. "I swear to _Merlin,_ if you two shove your tongues down each other's throats _one more time_ in the past _hour,_ I will personally transfigure you two into dog food."

"I second that," Marlene hastily agreed, her face still flushed, but this time not from James's unique women-disarming-pout. "I now miss the times when Lilykins was in denial. There wasn't this much -" she gestured her hands back and forth between James and Lily -" grossness around."

"Hey!" Lily protested, making a childish face at the grinning blonde.

"Yeah, I can practically feel the hearts emanating from you two", Alice said to her fork.

"Alice!"

"Now that you guys mention it, I'd much rather prefer James's daily trips to the hospital wing", Remus jokes, winking at the scoffing Lily.

"Remuuuss, not you too", Lily groaned, pretending to be betrayed.

"Did you lovesick guys even _notice_ that it's Christmas and that we're free to go out and _enjoy ourselves_?", Sirius questioned them both, still standing and staring imploringly at his two best mates.

"Ummm, yeah?" Lily peered up at him in amusement, but Sirius doesn't _want_ amusement, damn it, he wants _fun,_ anything that is not the snogging of her and James. Can't she _see_ that? Where the _hell_ did her cleverness go?

"But we _are_ enjoying ourselves, Padfoot", James retorted half-heartedly, playing with a strand of Lily's hair and god knows what under the table that makes Lily bite her lip like that.

"You mean _you two_ are, that doesn't include the rest of u -" Sirius stopped short as Lily suddenly coughed. _God,_ he doesn't even _want_ to know what _that_ is disguising… "Ugh, you know what? I was going to be best man at your wedding - still want to, mind you - but this is really getting out of hand."

Paying no mind to the vigorous nodding of the rest of their friends, James snickered. "You're just jealous that I'm paying more attention to Lils here than you", he lightly accused, glancing up from nibbling Lily's ear. He mumbled something into her skin and Lily suppressed a giggle.

Sirius ignored this comment and continued on. "I bet you two can't lay off snogging - or shagging for that matter - each other for even three whole fucking days."

The pair stopped whatever it is they were doing as Marlene yelled "Ha, five galleons!", Remus corrected calmly "Seven", and Alice interjected "Ten" while Dorcas waved off "Twenty."

James mocked a frown at the challenge. "Are you seriously betting on us to stop our love for each other and spread it to you guys?" He crossed his arms and turned his nose in the air humorously, like a petulant little child refusing to do the task cast upon them. "Hmph, as if."

"Of course you can't", Lily placidly spoke up, inspecting her nails, "since it's apparent that you will bloody _die_ if you don't have any form of physical contact with me in within the parameter of five seconds."

James rounded on her, aghast. "How can you say that, Evans?" He laid a wounded hand in his heart, faking offense. "You know you want me."

Sirius smiled at this exchange. Yes, he knows where this is going and _yes,_ this is going to be so much _fun._

"Oh?" Lily turned her head to face his. "Who's hand was it just now seeking to be in my knickers, hm?" At the collective _Ooohhhh, James, you're so screeewwed_ around them, she smirked seductively up at him. "I accept the challenge dear old Black laid on the table for us, Potter, and I will gladly witness you make a fool of yourself _again_."

James looked genuinely confused. "Me? Make a fool of myself? Shouldn't that question be directed to _you_?" He inclined his head to once again murmur something in Lily's ear, but this time, it was in more of a growl, and his inaudible words seemed to match hers in enticement.

Lily laughed when he straightened, but her face once again blossomed into a pretty pink. "Wanker."

"Mmhmm, looks like I have to be one now, yeah?"

Smothering her mirth against his shoulder, Lily hummed against his neck. "Let's see how long you hold out."

James sticks his tongue out over her head at the self-assured look Marlene threw him. _Bugger off,_ he mouthed at her, scowling at Alice and Dorcas when they both gave him a thumbs down. "Same to you, love." He pecked her hairline.

"Oh, I doubt that", Lily informed him in such a tone, sending a visible shiver down his spine. Before anybody at the Gryffindor table can react, she deftly flicked out her tongue and licked off the chocolate speck that she had been so mesmerized by, the one that was sticking innocently to the corner of James's mouth. At the low moan he emitted, Lily patted him consolingly, as if he had already lost the silent bet between them. "Better watch your back, Potter, or actually in this particularly _hard_ case -" Lily gazed into his dilated eyes, daring him to reciprocate and give up right then and there -"your _front_."

And with that, she promptly got up, grazed her hand slowly and affectionately through his messy black hair, and left the Great Hall with a very alluring wink and air kiss tossed over her shoulder, surrounded by her three triumphant friends.

James's entire demeanor slumped forward and he made a rude gesture at Sirius. "I hate you."

Sirius casually settled back down into his chair and accepted Remus's congratulatory countenance.

Christmas.

It's that time of the year and snowflakes are enveloping the Hogwarts grounds as well as the hair atop several heads of the student body that are mad enough to stay for the holidays, mistletoes are around every corner and door frame patiently waiting for an unsuspecting couple to pass through, heavily decorated pine trees are towering over the tables in the Great Hall, gifts are exchanged through packages of various sizes and laughter, and Sirius Black most definitely decided that he is undoubtedly _very_ happy.

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 _Haha. Just as I suspected: late. And yes, I know, this wasn't_ quite _the length I had expected it to be. Well, what do you guys think? Know what you want in the next chapter? Please tell me in the review section below! ;)_

 _P.S_ _: Which one do you think should give in? I haven't really decided yet._

 _P.P.S: __I'm rating this T for now, but I'm currently debating on whether or not I should turn this into a M, for... y'know, later chapters._


	2. Hypothermia

_I'm back! Sorry that I'm_ so _behind schedule, but it's just a bit hard to balance this between work and my lack of sleep. But I finally finished this chapter after about four edits! **A small clap on the shoulder for myself** And I've decided to start this chapter from James's viewpoint - which isn't something that I'm used to - so please bear with me as I will try my best to make it acceptable. ;)_

 _P.S:_ _A very big Thank You to those who have reviewed and favorited/followed this story! They always draw a stupid smile on my face and encourage me to get through my tiring day._

 **DISCLAIMER: Still not mine…**

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 **Hypothermia**

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The snow is dancing in the air, not having a care in the world as it flurries left and right, piling on the floor one speck on top of another and dotting the bare trees on the edge of the Forbidden Forest like soft generous sprinkles of sugar on a cookie, as if taking mercy on the cold and lonely beings of nature and decorating them for the attraction of a few layers of warmth and for the reminder that Winter is passing by and Spring is just around the corner, waiting, patiently waiting, for the perfect moment to caress her gentle and lively fingers through the blank gray sky to awaken all the green leaves sleeping in peace and boot out all the coldness in the world.

James watched as Lily ducked behind one of those trees as Sirius shot a snowball in her direction. Watched as it burst open in a _fwunk_ , sending white puffs flying in every which direction. Watched as she poked half her head around the trunk and wriggled her eyebrows over her shoulder to tease his mate about his miss. Watched as she twirled in a circle to dodge another hastily aimed snowball and hurl a sudden counterattack back. Watched as she laughed at the curse Sirius muttered when it struck him on the nose.

 _Damn it. This isn't fair._

She's so goddamn pretty. Gorgeous, really. Stunning. Aesthetic. Cute. Adorable. Radiant.

And that's just the looks. On the inside...well, on the inside, there's just another goddamn list to top off but for which he doesn't have the proper state of mind right this moment to begin with.

He has always been aware of her breathtaking loveliness, obviously, but it has sometimes been overshadowed recently with...other feelings...now that they have started to learn the language of intimacy between them. But now - now that they were more than a maximum of a feet apart and his sensibilities aren't dampened by her very addicting kisses and...other things that are better not brought up, lest he loses himself - her drop-dead perfection is repeatedly beating him upside the head and _Merlin_ , how can he refrain from snogging her when she's _right there,_ standing oh-so-innocently bloody _there,_ making his heart do things he is all-too-familiar with but oh-so-very unhealthy for his poor body and not even _trying?_

Her breath comes out in steamy puffs to color the air around her and he _knows,_ damn it, _knows_ what it tastes like, _knows_ what it feels like on his skin, and he can't help but gulp when she bites those very sweet and magical lips in concentration to dodge yet another ball of white thrown at her.

"Hey, Potter, stop looking like some stupid shiny statue like the ones in some random corridor that are always begging for a kick and take this!"

"Holy-" James just managed to bring his arms up when they were suddenly blasted with snow. "What the hell, McKinnon?!"

"What do you mean, 'what the hell'?" - Another snowball, this time against his chest - "We're out here to mark our last winter hols together, not watching you gawk at Lily some more!"

James lowered his arms to properly glare at Marlene, only to be struck in the face by Alice. He spat snow from his mouth, only they have already melted into water so now he looks like he's sputtering after a dip in the lake.

Wiping a hand across the lower half of his face, he rounded blindly towards the direction of laughter, given that his glasses is covered by a spectacular sheet of white. "Hey, don't you guys have some sympathy for poor old me after being dolorously restricted from loving my gorgeous girlfriend?", he joked in a tone that he hoped was at least remotely pitiful.

"Sympathy? Ha! I presently do not have that word in my line of vocabulary, Potter!" Marlene's entertained voice was accompanied by another splash of cold in his face.

"You totally deserve this, after grossing us all out with your continuous _touching_." James doesn't have time to decipher which of Lily's friends had spoken before a multitude of snowballs cannoned into him. He flailed about, trying to ward some off because who wants to be head-to-toe soaked in this icy weather when - as was prone to happen to people who are blindly shaking his limbs around while standing in a mountain of snow -he lost his balance and landed rather painfully backwards on his arse.

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"What...is...wrong with...all...of you -" James manages to stammer out through his chattering teeth. He sneezed, burrowing his nose into his still damp shirt. His voice is muffled as he continues, "You all...have...no heart."

Lily giggled, running her hands through his untamable hair, slowly and repeatedly, from the short tufts at the back of his neck where she knows his senses are unusually piqued upwards into the raven black soft area that always stand on end- the area where she can't help but instinctively _tug_ sometimes - and through the strands leading towards the front that his hands always seem to be in, again and again, almost as if she thinks running her fingers through it enough times will pluck away every last drop of cold melted snow in it.

"Are you seri - don't _even_ Sirius - are you being earnest right now, James?" Marlene tore off a piece of toast and flung it at him. "Have you looked in the mirror lately?" Without waiting for an answer, she looked dramatically around. "Someone please hand me a semi-reflective surface." After thanking Remus when he handed her his prefect badge, she shoved the shiny backside of it under James's nose. "Here, now you can see who _really_ has no heart."

James sneezed again, pleased when Marlene immediately withdrew her hand with a noise of disgust. But his satisfaction was short lived when two more sneezes racked his body, followed by a cough. He groaned pathetically and leaned back against Lily's legs. His hands wrapped around his mug of hot chocolate, eager for even the slightest bit of warmth. "I hope all of you - except for my sweet Lils -" he looked up and returned her adoring smile - "choke on your celebratory drink and die a most horrible death."

Sirius barked out a laugh and - just to annoy James - threw back his head and took an exaggerated gulp from his mug. "Don't be such a pessimist, Prongs."

"Yeah, it was just a little bit of snow", Dorcas said as she nibbles idly on her bread.

"Just a _little_ bit?" James asks incredulously while sipping at the dark liquid in his hands. "More like a whole bloody _-"_ But his words were cut off by another sneezing fit, one immediately leading on to another. One arm flew up to cover his face again while the other hastily set his drink down and moved away from the table laden with toast and mugs in fear of knocking anything over. Once he finally recovered, he laid his head on one of Lily's knee and poked at her socked feet. "Evans, please tell your mates that their horrendous sense of humour is currently causing me to die of hypothermia", he pleads, drawing out the "A" in her name in the way he knows she secretly likes.

Lily presses a smile into the raven black soft area in her boyfriend's hair. "I reckon they have a pretty good reason to bombard you with snow in the way they did. What did you do, hm?" She blinked at her mates through her eyelashes and winks at Marlene, kissing his head and taking in its fresh, wet dewey smell mixed in with its usual clean one of pine trees and lemons. Her nerves practically sang when a sudden wave of giddy comfort washes through her.

James can't help an idiotic grin at the feel of her mouth, even as he looked up to meet her twinkling emerald eyes. He could look into them forever, he thought, picking out the light and dark greens and the slightest hint of gold at the edge of a dot of black. "Why do you think that _I_ initiated it? Do I look like the type of person who _wants_ to die of hypothermia?"

"Oh, I dunno, love. For all the less-than-sensible things you have done for the past six years, I really can't say anything about your state of mind, can I?", Lily teases, her hair falling over one shoulder into his face as she tilts her head.

"You can't, Lils, 'cause he was practically _begging_ for a mound of snow to knock some sense into him back there." Marlene jabs a thumb towards a window facing the snow outside and mirrored Alice's frantic nod.

"Oi! I was _not_!", James protested, refusing to move his head from its position in Lily's lap. He was rather enjoying the way her fingers are tracing circles over _that_ spot on the back of his neck. A very stimulating tingle shot up his spine as she did it again in that achingly gentle way of hers and... _fuck._ He bit back a moan.

"You literally wanted us to be sorry for you for - and I _quote_ , Lily - for 'being dolorously restricted from loving my gorgeous girlfriend'!", Marlene defended herself, quoting her hands in the air and mimicking James's voice - only she altered it just _slightly,_ just enough to make him sound even more pathetic than he already was at the time.

" _God",_ Lily chokes out through her laughter, "What the _hell_ , James."

"Yeah. Exactly my reaction, Lils. _What the hell."_

Lily buries her amusement in James's neck while he frowns at Marlene's obvious pleasure at having Lily's side. He scowled some more as even Remus shook his head at him in exasperation. _What do they know?_ "Evans, are you really laughing at my compliment at how beautiful you are?", he questions, even though he knows otherwise.

"What? Of course not. _That,_ love, is whole-heartedly appreciated", Lily said in an overly serious tone, her voice shaky. She bit his ear and whispered breathlessly, "Thanks." She's kissing his neck now, grinning to herself when she feels him jerk against her. "What I find _funny,_ however, is your boyish ideas of romance."

"How are they _boyish_?" James wanted to know, because he _has_ to say something to make her _quit_ doing that; he _really_ does not want to cave in with that _bet_ going on. But then Lily suddenly swirls her tongue on that _spot_ again and he swears he is seeing stars.

"Mmm, just that _I,_ for one, can think of multiple ways I can love you without snogging or shagging, that's all." She continues to kiss his neck, biting and licking here and there. "And I, for one, think you terribly deserved that mini avalanche of snow."

"Go on, tell him." Dorcas reaches for another piece of toast.

"Ok; maybe I _did_ kinda deserved it," James finally admits, struggling to keep his voice steady but it's so _hard_ \- what with Lily's tongue doing delicious things to his skin and one of her legs moving to wrap loosely around his chest - "But you _have_ to say though, Evans, snogging and shagging is the _best_ way."

Lily pulled her mouth away from its happy way to his jaw to laugh some more. "Sure, whatever you say to make yourself feel better, Potter."

James is torn from relief and disappointment at the absence of her mouth on him. He spun around to look at her. "I don't say things to make me - make me -" At Lily's raised eyebrows, he stopped. Changed the subject. "Whatever; the _important_ thing is, I'm still soaked so if you'll _excuse_ me…" He pushes himself off the common room floor, and ignored Sirius and Remus's sniggers, "I'm going to take a hot shower and change."

Lily smirked at his sudden change of tone and sudden fancy of a shower. With a quick glance down, she confirmed her suspicions. "Go on then, I'm not going to stop you from _cleaning_ yourself."

Marlene chokes on her hot chocolate.

"No, but…" James offers a hand to Lily while the other ruffles through the front of his hair. "Care to join?"

Lily blushes, instantly regretting her cheek. Her heart skittered around in her chest and she actually considers saying yes.

But then her eyes caught Sirius's challenging and almost victorious ones.

Maybe if there wasn't a stupid _bet_ or they were _alone…_

"No, Potter", Lily casually rejected him, eyes unwavering from Sirius's. She leaned back into her chair and ignored her betraying face and heart and more-likely-than-not dilated pupils. "You can shower perfectly fine by yourself."

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 _So…? What do you think of their excessive flirting? Should I continue? Who should cave? Tell me what you think! ;)_


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